| Friday July 24, 2009 8:48 PM Edit: http://bboyseoul.wordpress.com/ That's my wordpress. I might blog there from time to time, but probably nothing like the blogs I posted here. They will be more "me" oriented, aka not very interesting to anyone :P My last Xanga entry will just be a couple short essays on ideas about life I've thought of. They won't necessarily tie in with each other, although I suppose they could 
The Dregs of Hypnosis I took a walk tonight down a sidewalk lined with nothing but silence and street lights. Life today is so busy. Everyone is always on the go, studying at school, grinding it out at a job or wooing their significant other. A solemn thought it is, in the world of today, to think of just how easy it is to forget what silence really sounds like. Even vacations are plagued with exhaustion. Where did such a fast paced life come from? Are we scared that silence will remind us of our fragility? The eventual, unavoidable goal of life is death; are we attempting to hasten that goal by turning minutes into seconds? We believe we walk through life, making our own choices and thinking in a clear manner, but how many of those choices and thoughts are really ours? Did we really make them, or were they "chosen" by something else, merely thrust into our hands with blindly unwavering acceptance? It is the easiest to concentrate and think about something when we are doing nothing and listening to nothing. Is today's fast paced world then a form of control? Maybe silence holds these answers.
Ruler of the Clouds In the beginning, life has no meaning. In its most elementary form, it consists of eating and sleeping (and breeding, if you want to count that). It's our cerebral cortex that forces us to try and find meaning and reason for our body's 90 years or so of existence. But even though we need direction, few, if any, are so lucky as to find a road map. People like to ask to each other "what is the meaning of life?" A perfunctory interrogation at best, it has become more a question asked for poetic and philosophical value during conversations, rather than a screwdriver aimed at fixing our life's compass. We hope that one day we'll ask and receive an 1 + 1 answer in the form of a couple sentences, after of which will allow us to clear away the clouds in our skies and take dead aim at life's true purpose. No one stops to realize that the wrong question is being asked of the wrong person. In asking "what is the meaning of life?" we are making a quantum physics question out of a calculus question. The question assumes there is a meaning to which everyone adheres, and that's just plain dangerous. In much the same way only we can sign our signature, only we can live our own lives. And, in much the same way all our fingerprints are different, so too will be the way we choose our paths. The right question then, is "what is the meaning of my life?" and the right person to ask it to, is yourself.
The Strength of Remorse If you had the chance to go back and change just 1 thing in your life, what would it be? There are so many moments in my life I feel ashamed about it's hard to fill in an answer. So many people like to exclaim that if given the chance, they wouldn't go back and change anything about their lives. They explain this choice by saying, with much pride, that their experiences, good and bad, made them the person they are today. They say that they don't regret a thing. But pride is a suicidal blade, and what they're proclaiming either isn't true, or they are perfect. These people do not know how to respect their regrets. The lessons we learn that stick with us the longest are the ones that are the hardest emotionally to learn. It is the fact that we would change certain events in our past life if we could that make them so powerful. If, given the opportunity, we honestly wouldn't change them, then those events weren't that important to us. There are certain events in my life that I would change if I could do them over again, and because I know I would change them, I understand the meaning they have in my life, even if I am not proud of them. That, is something I AM proud of.
Towards the Greater Tomorrow Ever since I can remember, my parents have always watched the news. The news is a special type of TV program. It's about the only show on TV that I can think of that people watch on purpose to get angry at. All the stories they report on are things people don't like. I never understood why my parents watched it if all they were going to do was complain about every story the poor newscaster talked about. It seems like every day something worse and worse happens. Just when you think things can't get any worse, you can be proven wrong by switching your TV on to the national news channel. It's sad to think about all this potential for bad things to happen being realized. "Hope" seems to be said less and less every day in a hopeful intonation. But polar opposites brings some buoyancy back into the equation. Just as dark exists because there is light, just as laughter exists because there are tears, and just as fat people exist because there is chocolate (umm, nevermind), the potential for good things to happen is equal to what is happening on the opposite side of the spectrum. Rely on your friends for smiles and laughter and work towards being a part of the greater tomorrow. Joie de vivre
Epilogue It's been fun. I'm quitting Xanga, as apparently the last one to do so. Everyone else I know has stopped using Xanga and consequently I don't think anyone even reads my blog anymore. Not that I ever say anything on it. Oh well! My last protected blog will also probably go unread forever, but that's fine too :) If anyone out there has read every time I posted a blog, thanks for reading!
Goodbye |
